Sunday, September 30, 2007
2:27 AM
I'm sorry if i can't take out 2 hours for afternoon training
everyday. But its not like its my fault right? Can't john
just let us off for the exams, since its, well, the exams.
And we need time to study and revise and whatsoever. I
'm not asking to attend 6 sessions forever. All
i'm asking is for just this two weeks. He allows
others to stop training for their exams, but not me.
I just miss one session and he talks to me
and threathens to pull me out of berlin.
And well, maybe kick me out of the squad. At least
i'm still training when all other ccas have stand
down. After that i'd just take out 5 hours a day just
to go for training. Basically, cos i'm being forced to.
I don't even know why i bother going down for
training when i totally don't feel like it. Especially
in the afternoons. Its just that i never ever have
time to do any after school stuff like everyone
else or have any time to do any other stuff cos
swimming takes up so much of my time. And saturday
is reserved for sleeping and studying, sunday for church
and being depressed that monday is coming. And when
everyone is busy making after school plans, i'm always
the only one who's too busy to go. Just because i have to go
home and sleep and rest for training.
Even when i try my best and its not up to
the coaches expectations, the effort is hardly ever appreciated. I
ts just times like this when trying your best is just
not good enough when you feel like giving up. And
john's always expecting something during training.
Haven't he had a day when he couldn't move when
he used to be a swimmer? Or haven't had a day which
he dosen't feel like swimming? Its not as if its like i want
to do horribly at meets like asean schools and
asian age. If i know the problem in my backstroke, i
should change it. Yeah right, which swimmer wouldn't.
I would change it if i knew how. That simply means, i don't
know what's wrong with my stroke now thats
causing me to do times that i can easily do during training.
He says that I should be looking for excuses to go for
training, not find exuses to miss training. He says he knows
how pressurized i feel having to do well both in swimming
and my studies, but i don't think so. Lately, i've been coming
up with some really stupid excuses just to miss
training. Is it really worth it? Gone are the days which
i look forward to training, i just dread jumping into the pool now.
Thats how much i hate going training.
I hate running steps, doing heartrate sets and
anything else related to swimming now.
the only reason why i'm going training now is
because i don't have a choice.
I've worked so hard to qualify for meets but sometimes it all
depends on the coach if they want to let you go or not and if they'll
appeal for you or not. So, i don't really care if
john pulls me out of berlin world cup. Then maybe someone
who deserves it more than me can get a chance to go.
This is how much i hate training now.
EOYS tomorrow, at least school ends early.
Yeah, and thanks to all those people who made
this birthday a really nice one. And thanks to
2 hope for the wonderful song, i love you guys!
- One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies.
The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the
painful silence they shared between them that night.
The girl then asked the boy to pull over
because she wanted to talk.
She told him that her feelings had changed &
that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he
slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down
that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat,
killing the boy.Miraculously, the girl survived.
Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."
